By Ted Roebuck
Watching the cyborgs out the window,
going about their day with exceptional efficiency,
laser-focused and unconcerned with the world around them.
That’s the life I want.
“But Zay,” said Michela. “We love you because you care so much.
How you stayed with your dying friend Joanne until her last moments,
how you took care of James when I wasn’t around,
how passionate you are about art,
how much you love me.
Zay, I forbid it.”
Watching the cyborgs,
cold and emotionless,
with no need for anger or heartbreak.
That’s the life I want.
“But Zay,” said Michela. “We love you for your emotion.
How happy you are to see me, our pets,
how infectious your laugh is,
how scared you get watching horror movies,
how when you’re down, you always let me pick you up.
Zay, I forbid it.”
Watching the cyborgs,
everything makes sense to them,
everything is broken down into logical conclusions.
That’s the life I want.
“But Zay” said Michela. “We love you for your curiosity,
how you’ve taken me and James around the world,
how you’ve always got something insightful to say,
how much satire you see in the world,
and before I met you - I never realized how little everything makes sense.
Zay, I forbid it.”
Watching the cyborgs,
perfect, chiseled metal faces,
weak muscles replaced with hydraulics.
That’s the life I want.
“But Zay,” said Michela. “I love you the way you are,
how your brown eyes light up everytime you see me,
how your arms wrap around me the perfect length,
how scruffy your beard is,
and how much our son looks like you. You’re James’ hero, he wants to be like you. You know that.
Zay, I forbid it.”
Watching the cyborgs,
in ever-growing number,
with their sense of belonging with each other and superiority over the mortal human.
That’s the life I want.
“But Zay,” said Michela. “You don’t need to be like them, we love you for the way you are.
You belong with us. Me and James love you as much as you love us.
You know we’re all born equal, that’s something you’ve instilled into James.
You don’t have to be perfect, nobody has to be perfect. You’re perfect to me, to him,
I just need you to be you.
Zay, I forbid it.”
Watching the cyborgs,
I have realized that,
I found the life I want.
The next day, I replaced my brain with a hard drive,
my flesh with metal,
and my heart with a generator.
I was perfect, and I couldn’t wait to show Michela.
“Michela?” I asked in my new automated voice. “What do you think?”
She gave a horrible scream. Tears streamed from her eyes.
And then I realized,
even after I had made myself perfect,
I’d still never be good enough.
